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Joke of the Day
"Why did the vegetables hop into the boiling pot of water? They were part of a stewicide pact."
Next Joke
"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."
"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."
"Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water"
"We didn't like Granny sliding down the banister so we wrapped it with barbed wire. She didn't stop but it sure slows her up."
"What's the difference between a green elephant and a purple one? One of them is purple"
"I've been reading a book about the history of glue. I can't put it down!"
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss *I have to give credit to my buddy /u/canavo for that one!"
"A racist joke What's the difference between a sperm and a racist? A sperm as a 1 in a million chance of actually becoming a human being."
"What happens when the pope dies Another one popes up"