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Joke of the Day

"Comcast opens an airline. The airplane only goes full speed to certain, partner airports and if the airplane flies further than expected, you're charged per mile."

"My MOM Says Life is A Race Life iS A Tragedt When SeeN In CloSE-UP, LONG-SHOT. To Truly Laugh, You Must be Able to Take Your PAIN, And PLAY With iT!"

"What is Napoleon Dynamite's Favorite TV Dinner? Tot Pockets"

"Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it."

"May I buy half a rabbit? No we don't split hares!"

"*Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack."

"""A Brita pitcher is only as good as the man who re-fills it after emptying."" -- Dalai Lama"

"My blonde girlfriend froze In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. "" oh..I saw this on youporn"" she said,"" they call it bufferring""."

"Synonym is just another word for a word that means the same thing as another word."

"Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the ""11"" in ""9-1-1""."