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Joke of the Day

"I hate having to walk behind a car... It's exhausting."

"Did you hear about the Irish paper boy? He blew away."

"99% of my socks are single. You don't see them crying about it."

"My boss thinks being gay is a disease so I called in queer this morning. But I reassured him that I should be straight again by tomorrow."

"Why can't sluts count to seventy? 69 is a mouthful."

"If U are nervous about public speaking, no need to picture the audience naked, just realize they will be on their phone ignoring you anyway."

"What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*"

"Apparently asking the boss "" who ignited the fuse on your tampon?"" will get you sent to HR."

"How do you change root beer in to a beer? Put it in a square cup"

"What do you call a guy that can't make a joke? A dead one."