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Joke of the Day

"What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*"

"If I was an origami penguin, where would I hide?"

"Weather channel: It's going to get up into the mid-30's this afternoon but it'll still feel like it's in the teens. Me: Literally me."

"A girl walks into a bar and ask the bartender for a double entendre so he gives it to her."

"If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying ""IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!"". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave."

"Which is better a stool or a box to stand on? You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder"

"Some people are glistening beacons of nope."

"If water is h20, what is ice H2O^3"

"What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren."

"Clever yo mama jokes The title says it all. Heres one: Yo mama so fat that light bends around her."