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Joke of the Day

"My friend Amanda is an entrepreneur... She decided to create a cross-dressing boutique. She called it ""Amanda's A Man, Duh""."

"If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward."

"What do you call a happy wizard? Optimystical"

"I adopted a rock. He just sits there and does nothing all day. It still beats raising Kylo."

"Did you know that Princess Diana was on her cell phone when she died? She was also on the dashboard, the windscreen, the roadside..."

"I just had 'the talk' with my kid. You know, the one where you break the news that Batman isn't real."

"How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport? Terminal velocity."

"What did the cave woman use as a dildo? A fucking rock"

"I guess you could say Caitlyn Jenner is... Transjennered."

"So it is my anniversary I couldn't think of what to get her... But I finally settled on a plunger, because bitches love bringing up old shit"