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Joke of the Day

"If I've ever been described as ""athletic"", it was probably meant as a combination of the words ""athlete"" and ""pathetic""."

"Rene Angelil passed away recently, long time manager and husband of Celine Dion. At the funeral a devastated Celine sobbed ""It's ok , my heart will go on"""

"If the dove is the bird of peace... ...what is the bird of true love? The swallow."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panth I'm going thwimming."

"What idiot called them Ex-fiancees' and not 'Near-Mrs' ?"

"after u die u do the same life again on a higher difficulty setting. more relationships fail and more loved ones die. certain dogs explode"

"After a tornado tore through town, thankfully no one was hurt. The trees were stripped bare, though. God breathed a sigh of releaf."

"I'm going back to work tomorrow after the holiday break, which means playing that annual game: What food is rotting in the office kitchen?"

"I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese."

"On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class."