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Joke of the Day
"I once met a prostitute that said she would do anything for $100 I said paint my house."
Next Joke
"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"
"I was reading in the paper today... about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"
"Why are bears so hairy ? They don't have salons in the jungle !"
"What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud? Conversation?"
"If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead."
"[Me narrating a documentary on spiders] OH GOD GROSS OH JESUS DISGUSTING THERE'S ONE ON ME RIGHT NOW ISN'T THERE OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD"
"What type of bagel can fly? A plain bagel"
"How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages"
"Did you hear about the guy who picked up a leper at the gay bar? [NSFW] After he pulled out, he got himself a nice piece of ass."