138049

Joke of the Day

"How come when a woman is pregnant, people rub her tummy...? How come when a woman is pregnant, people rub her tummy and say, ""Congratulations"" but no one rubs the guy's balls and says ""Good job""?!"

Next Joke
 
"Obama: Please don't talk to me until I've had my morning cup of Joe. Joe: no please no more. Obama: shut up Joe. *takes a sip of Joe*"
"How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies? 10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms"
"Q: ""What has an IQ of 42?"" A: ""40 Marines plus their lieutenant"""
"What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper."
"Funny teacher responses to ""Can I go to the bathroom?"" Forget the classic ""I don't know, can you?"""
"It's Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for em."
"What did the sardine call the submarine ? A can of people !"
"Apparently ""Which one?"" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me ""What are your intentions with my daughter?"""
"Where does the USB key come from? Uzbekistan!"