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Joke of the Day
"One of the most effective forms of birth control is assembling furniture together as a couple."
Next Joke
"whenever i get frustrated with the world i remember that some birds can talk and then i get so amped"
"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis"
"[high school reunion] ""Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?"" No that was Tyler."
"Star Wars Spoilers (not really) Dumbledore dies!"
"Someone left a flyer on my windshield asking me to envision heaven, so I pictured a world where no one leaves flyers on my windshield."
"How come jokes about Blacks and Hispanics aren't funny? Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal"
"My son just walked in crying, saying he was scared as Trump won. I said, fuck off, you're 22 & British. Oh yes he replied & went to work."
"I read the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible."
"My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend... We're the Suicide Squad!"