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Joke of the Day

"A magician was walking down the street then he turned into a grocery store."

"Unless you're telling me how to skip it in the future, your voicemail greeting wastes my time."

"What do you call high school students doing a digestive system test? In-test teens."

"I like my coffee how I like my women... imported"

"The police never think its as funny as you do."

"US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today."

"When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge... So the planets started a revolution."

"*thumb wrapped in giant bandage* CW: Oh my God, what happened? Me: Never challenge a hitchhiker to a thumb war."

"I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand."

"Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage"