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Joke of the Day

"What's the most popular pick up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"What's Irish and sits by the pool? Paddy O'Furniture"

"Why did Verizon's mailman get fired? He was losing packets."

"I want to open a pizza shop called ""Cheesus Crust!"" Our slogan will be: ""Heavenly ingredients, served hot as Hell."" -or- ""Crust has risen."""

"It was a shame King Henry VIII had a lisp, it made it quite difficult for him to order his wives coffee. ""I'll have them decapitated"""

"My rebellious teenage son robbed our local Chinese food restaurant ""You stole all of their chicken?!"" Tso"

"I like to think I'm pretty smart. I just managed to get a 90 on my iq test."

"Pansexuality is the best... fuck the rest."

"[Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad."

"Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike."