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Joke of the Day
"Non-lactating cows are milk duds."
Next Joke
"Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once."
"OC that I came up with whilst daydreaming: Why is there no sofa in the forbidden kingdom? ... because Mao is more of a chair man!"
"I accidentally mixed the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in with the regular butter and NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE!"
"So a horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies, ""I'm a raging alcoholic and it's destroying my family."""
"Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. - watching the Olympics with my wife"
"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "
"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."
"Cannibal boy: mommy I don't like grandpa Cannibal mom: alright sweety, just eat the potatos"
"How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb? 14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house."