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Joke of the Day
"I want to break up. It isn't you. It's a me...mario!"
Next Joke
"What is your best North Korea joke?"
"When I wake up before my alarm clock...I sometimes sneak up on it while it's still sleeping and yell ""HOW DOES IT FEEL B*TCH"""
"STDs are like Pokemon. Gotta catch'm all!"
"What's the right age to tell your kids Canada isn't real?"
"[ronald mcdonald in fake mustache sidles up to group of teens] mcdonalds sucks right guys? Let's discuss ways they could improve their image"
"Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side ripped off by a shark? He's all right now."
"""Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."" The priest replied, ""I know. I saw your tweet!"""
"A girl called me up, she said ""come over there's nobody home"" So I went over, but there was nobody home"
"I asked a Southeast-Asian-looking elderly gentleman if he was from Thailand. He said, ""Yeah, Siam."""