216418

Joke of the Day

"I love subtraction sums so much... ...I won't let anyone take it away from me."

"[son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?"

"I hate it when I remove myself from around people to fart in peace and they follow me right after I have release a big one."

"I'll have a foot long Italian with turkey and cheddar cheese. Whoops, wrong sub"

"Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent."

"What's the abominable snowman's favourite food? Spag-yeti."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"All night long I dreamed that I was a pumpkin. When I woke up, my sister was pregnant."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snowomen? Snowballs"

"I thought a drone was the sound women make when you're trying to watch the game?"