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Joke of the Day
"I'll have a foot long Italian with turkey and cheddar cheese. Whoops, wrong sub"
Next Joke
 
"I'm about as excited for hilary to be president, as Bill is when he sees her naked."
"What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future? The iPhone Ayyyye-t"
"My electric toothbrush broke so now I have to use my acoustic one"
"What do you call a disabled person committing a drive by? Handicappn."
"UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP *looking for condom in my ""Beat It"" zipper jacket*"
"Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat."
"What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus? I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)"
"What game is in Schrodinger's Xbox? Dead or Alive"
"A baby seal walks into a club."