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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that pee in the shower....and dirty fucking liars."

"Got kicked out of the Renaissance Fair after seeing an Asian wearing a breastplate. I said there was a chink in the armor."

"Every year you swallow ten beetles in your sleep! That's what my gastroentomologist told me."

"""I love potatoes! They are delicious and so versatile. If only they could get me laid..."" -how vodka was born"

"Found newspaper from day my son was born. Originally saved so he could see news of that day. Now saving so he can see what a newspaper was."

"My friend wrote a joke on an egg and gave it to me to share with others. But I forgot and spoiled it."

"I'm terrified That I might be a hypochondriac"

"I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?"

"If straight people use Tinder, what do Germans use? Hitler"

"I'm like the mafia to my son. He only contacts me when he wants money or protection."