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Joke of the Day

"Found newspaper from day my son was born. Originally saved so he could see news of that day. Now saving so he can see what a newspaper was."

"make it a double A woman walks into a bar. The bartender asks her what she wants. ""I'll have an entendre,"" she says. ""Make it a double"" So he gave it to her."

"What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice."

"Why is Xena never charged with any crime? Because she's Lucy Lawless"

"I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like?"

"Have you heard the Joke about Hiroshima? I hear it's explosive...."

"12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?"

"My dad: See, when you said you'd met a ""special someone"" we thought... Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON."

"What do you call a tissue that is sleeping? A napkin"

"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"