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Joke of the Day

"Why are circles so knowledgeable? Because they have three hundred and sixty degrees."

"According to my Nike fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week."

"[robbing Walgreens] Would you like to sign up for a Walgreens card? Youll save 30% on your robbery ""sure"" [guy behind me with 1 item] wtf"

"What's your body type? Mine is ""giant gummy bear."""

"No girl jokes. Period."

"I will show you a picture on my phone, but if you swipe right or left, I will break your finger."

"Area Man Discovers New Dimension, Becomes Volume Man"

"Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?"

"I can't stand those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn""... Fucking firemen."

"Why cant Miss Piggy count to 100? Every time she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat."