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Joke of the Day
"Area Man Discovers New Dimension, Becomes Volume Man"
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"Did you hear about the butterfly that ate too many stones? ... he shat-a-pillar."
"A bot walks into a sub and orders a rum and coke... [Removed]"
"Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't."
"When a woman says ""I can't even tell you how upset I am right now"" just wait 3 seconds."
"Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet."
"Thinking about writing some erotic fan fiction about 90s bands Working title It's A shame About Grey"
"If I had 2 fish I would name them 1 and 2 so if 1 died I would still have 2."
"So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company It's going to be called Game of Scones"
"8yo: Do we have a fire extinguisher? Me: Yes. 8yo: Where? Me:... 8yo: WHERE! 6yo: (from outside) It's spreading. Me: I'm up."