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Joke of the Day

">Get text. Is Letterman. >Pet tricks and chill?"

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"""Honey, don't try to feed ice cream to the Christmas tree,"" is a thing I literally just said."
"What do you have in a room full of tweakers? A full set of teeth."
"I don't think black people know that you can get just one tattoo."
"Why did the chicken have a seance? To get to the other side"
"Why do women shit?"
"Why do computer teachers never get sick? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
"Why do black people talk funny? They don't, it's a miff."
"My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100.. ..apparently 69 was not the correct answer."
"I asked the lady from the collection agency out on a date. She turned me down, but keeps calling. I told her I'm too old for games."