216186

Joke of the Day

"[meeting zac efron at a book signing six years after my wife said she thought he was handsome] well hello there mister home wrecker"

"The lead drummer of my marching band is such an asshole. So I pounded him. Let me just say that the re-percussions I faced weren't very nice."

"I named my penis Truth... Because bitches can't handle it!"

"What was Marie Curie's fitness program on the airwaves called? Radio-Activity"

"Wife: ""Look. I haven't worn this in 8 years and it still fits."" Husband: ""For God's sake woman, it's a scarf!"""

"Why don't cannibals have dogs? Because you're not supposed to feed them people food."

"I was so close to a threesome last night... I was only missing 2 people"

"the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually ""cloaking"" they just turned all their lights off"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"Say what you want about deaf people... Am I right!?"