190333

Joke of the Day

"The lead drummer of my marching band is such an asshole. So I pounded him. Let me just say that the re-percussions I faced weren't very nice."

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"Someone in South Korea accused North Korea of having assassination squads. That's a lie. On an unrelated note, I need that guy's address."

"My friend has mexican car insurance. It's called get out and run."

"Q: How do small people call each other? A: On microphones."

"Currently eating organic raspberries that I didn't wash over my kitchen sink, in case any ladies out there dig the whole ""bad boy"" persona."

"Did you know King Solomon made love to 1000 virgins but he never enjoyed great sex :-P"

"Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella? In case of reindeer. And because I caribou."

"Q: What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? A: An animal that talks your head off."

"I could never commit suicide I just couldn't live with it..."