194728
Joke of the Day
"I don't like having long hair... ...but it's kind of growing on me"
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"Coffee... If you're British, it may not be your cup of tea."
"Every time a woman takes off something she looks better, but every time a man takes off something he looks worse."
"Beer is mankind's best invention ever, but the wheel is the most revolutionary."
"All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing chuck Norris fly to McDonald's."
"A Valentines Poem Roses are red Violets are blue Whitney Houston is dead and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou"
"""Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses"" -I remind myself as I flirt with the fire extinguisher I've mistaken for a cute guy"
"Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month."
"whats black on top and white on the bottom? rape"
"If I had a gun and 2 bullets and I was alone in a room with you, Hitler, and Stalin, I'd look at you like how the fuck did we get in this situation."