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Joke of the Day

"ME: [at a party] hey! wanna come back to my place and- GIRL: hook up? sure! ME: [sadly putting away two Yu-Gi-Oh! decks] oh. awesome"

"You should need a license to be that ugly."

"MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL"

"""Sacre gray!"" - Colorblind French guy"

"A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and the bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill Mrs Brown."

"According to a study I read... Men think about the adjectival form of pus every 6 seconds."

"My favorite part of the bible is when god gives people free will and then kills everyone with a flood for not acting the way he wanted ."

"If I was your alarm clock, how would I wake you up every morning? With a big dong......."

"no one knows where the sky starts. ""here?"" wonders one scientist, her hand just above her head. ""how about here"" says another, crouching."