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Joke of the Day

"no one knows where the sky starts. ""here?"" wonders one scientist, her hand just above her head. ""how about here"" says another, crouching."

"Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing."

"I cried when my dad cut onions... I miss onions. He was a good dog."

"Saved my gall bladder in a jar so when they ask me at the DMV if I want to be an organ donor, I can put it on the counter and say, ""YES!"""

"Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president? So women don't get elected."

"A peanut was walking down a dark alley He got a-salted"

"I heard it's impossible to ban Tank tops in the US... Something about the right to bare arms..."

"Hey- ZigZag- What causes dry eyes? Ducts out of water ..."

"Remember the game where you would take turns yelling, ""Penis!"" in public? Life was so simple before 9/11."

"What do you call a tight butthole? a noose"