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Joke of the Day

"A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and the bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."

"why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer? she can clean her crack and sell it again"

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"My friend wanted to give me a free puppy... I did not accept because their mother was a real bitch."

"*walks into door on street, looks around* Whew...no one saw me... One year later... *watching TV* *sees self on Funniest Videos*"

"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."

"You say drug dealer. I say astute, urban entrepreneur embracing the booming chemical escapism market."

"When my wife and I first got married she treated me like a god! Gave me burnt sacrifices every night."

"I went to that restaurant you said I had to try. It fucking sucked."