161981

Joke of the Day

"""Sacre gray!"" - Colorblind French guy"

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"Things I trust more than Trump 1.Flint, Michigan water 2.Bill Cosby drinks 3.Elevator rides with Ray Rice 4.Donated blood from Magic Johnson 5.Casey Anthony with my kid"
"ME: judging by this blood stain the murderer appears to have been a turkey ACTUAL POLICE OFFICER: That's a hand print"
"How many conspiratards does it take to screw in a light bulb....? ""NONE! ITS A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT TO KEEP US IN THE DARK!"""
"Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced."
"If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari. I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month. ... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari."
"Poor kids at sandy hook... They wished for books but they just got magazines."
"Pussy Me: Let me tell you a joke. Me: Pussy. You: ... Me: Do you get it? You: No.. Me: Exactly."
"My ex-girlfriend was an opera singer. With her it was always ""me me me"""
"Did you hear about that rude homeless guy down the street? He made some roofless remarks."