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Joke of the Day

"Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge."

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? It's the scenter."

"What's the difference between like, love and lust? Spit Swallow Gargle"

"How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?"

"Haven't listened to Staind since middle school... ...it's been awhile"

"Noah... The original Pokemon Master."

"A Date joke When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Liam Neeson: I will find them. Wilde: Wait, I meant- Neeson: EVERYONE"

"Girl1: Why are you so happy? Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said ""Parking Fine"""

"What's big, green, fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."