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Joke of the Day

"Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Liam Neeson: I will find them. Wilde: Wait, I meant- Neeson: EVERYONE"

"[meeting at amc network] ""Okay so how can we make everyone in Walking Dead look like they smell even worse this season?"""

"Fact about apple car It has Windows"

"Why won't Goldilocks drink a glass of water with eight pieces of ice in it? It's two cubed! :)"

"3 guys walk into a bar you would think one of them would have seen it."

"Missed connection: She wanted classy and I thought she said gassy..."

"#rudolph > .nose { background: red; border-radius: 50%; @include shiny; }"

"Every week I buy healthy fruits & vegetables and every week I throw out spoiled fruits & vegetables because I like steak."

"Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy? None - because they were all redskins."

"How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?"