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Joke of the Day

"Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Liam Neeson: I will find them. Wilde: Wait, I meant- Neeson: EVERYONE"

"If I had a brewery I would make an alcoholic drink called ""Responsibly"". I wouldn't even have to pay for advertising."

"A wife texts her husband on a cold winters morning... ""Windows frozen"" ...... Husband texts back, ""Pour some luke warm water over it""...... Wife replies, ""Computer completely stuffed now"""

"What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?"

"Two peanuts were walking down the road... One was assaulted"

"My eyesight is good, but my strongest sense is non."

"HAIRDRESSER: *holding mirror* and the back? DRACULA: *nodding* um.. yeah.. sure.. great thanks"

"What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large"

"What's difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid to have a lentil in my mouth."

"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."