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Joke of the Day

"A Date joke When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"...and tonight's final jeopardy category is Greek Mythology *giant centaur snorts and smiles at the other two contestants*"

"How do you stop a dog humping your leg? Suck it off"

"What is blue and lies by the seabed? Probably not a planned child."

"What's the most important part of making a Mexican joke ? Making sure that no Juan hears you."

"And the Lord said to Peter ""come forth and you will receive eternal life"". But Peter came fifth and won a toaster."

"Can't decide if I'm feeling jacked, pumped, or amped. Might just be constipated."

"Being politically correct sucks. I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore. Now I have to say, ""hey Jamal would you please go paint that fence over there?"""

"What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket? The Easter Barney!"

"A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls"