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Joke of the Day

"It's good to keep healthy. My gran started walking 10 miles a day when she was 50... ...she's 80 now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

"When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me."

"What food do vampires hate? Steaks."

"So North Korea's Kim Jong-Un executes it's defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun. I bet he took a lot of flak for that."

"Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down"

"The cops arrested my phone yesterday. They charged it with battery."

"So Fabio is endorsing a new line of Fleshlights They're calling them ""I can't believe it's not butt."""

"I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face."

"The first movable printing press was made In the renaissance. .. This gave more people to jack off to the first porn ever."

"Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window? He was a cereal defenestrator."