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Joke of the Day

"People say musicians are gems I used to think Simon and Garfunkel were real gems, but then I about diamond and carbuncle."

"Don't anthropomorphize your pets... They hate it when you do that."

"why i call my girlfriend warm beer my girlfriend asked me why i sometimes call her warm beer, i told her very few want her sober but while drunk shes fair game."

"Concentration Camps (x-post from /r/Poems) Guess Who? It's a Jew Concentration camps for You! Boo Hoo! It's a Haiku F*** You. Edit: I know it's not a haiku."

"NSFW What do you call it when you give a pussy diamond piercings? Coochie Gucci"

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the fridge."

"*walks into a five guys* Did the five guys ever kiss"

"i like to write the word ""gullible"" on the ceiling then say ""hey, look it says gullible on the ceiling."" i don't really understand jokes."

"I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes. ... but I never get a good reaction."

"*points to person jogging outside through the snow* ""Look kids, a lunatic"""