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Joke of the Day

"I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes. ... but I never get a good reaction."

"I wish I was getting a divorce. Because it would mean someone once loved me enough to marry me."

"Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your Job still sucks"

"When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head."

"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."

"Knock Knock Joke (created by a 4yo) Knock knock - Who's there? Apple - Apple who? *pause* APPLE NOTHING! APPLES DON'T SAY ANYTHING! YOU'RE SO WEIRD, DADDY!"

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend."

"[getting out of prison after 10 years] GUARD: *handing me a paper bag* here are ur things ME: did none of u monsters feed my tamagotchi"

"If you're looking to learn how to get rich, I recommend reading this book How to get rich, by Robin Banks."

"Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!"