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Joke of the Day

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"I was talking to Marcel Marceau the other day. You know what he said? Nothing he's dead"

"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."

"I'd like to be so rich I forgot what country I left my private jet at after a crazy weekend"

"Accordion to studies... Most people don't replace the first word of a sentence with an instrument"

"How do you tell if someone online is American? They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)"

"Why do babies cry when they're born? Because it's the most painful day in their lives"

"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."

"Love is like a fart If you have to try its just shit"

"""No comment"" said no woman, ever"