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Joke of the Day

"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."

"[first date] ""I learned to crochet in prison... Now you say something."""

"How many Freudian Analysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to screw it in and the other to hold the penis---ladder!! I meant ladder..."

"I can finally set my tivo to record ""the biggest loser""... ...kept trying to record the jets game"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chloe ! Chloe who ? Chloe's Encounters of the Third Kind !"

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points."

"A rabbi, an Irishman, and a clown walk into a bar The bartender says ""This has to be a joke."""

"So If the Pope shits in a toilet.... Does that make it holy shit? Aaaand thats my shitpost for the day."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb. None. They just beat the room for being black."