215743

Joke of the Day

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you."

"What's the difference between a good joke and me not giving a shit? Fuck you"

"Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home."

"I'll get you socks and a dildo for your birthday. So if you don't like the socks, you can go fuck yourself"

"Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?"

"""Great, those annoying white people that talk loud and take all the good seats just walked in"" -everyone else in the coffee shop in Friends."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasaurass."

"Today, I'm happy to say I am 12 years sober! Unfortunately it was only the first 12 years of my life and I've been drunk ever since."

"Two nuns riding Down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, ""I've never come this way before."" The other nun replies, ""neither have i, it's probably the cobbles."""