19505

Joke of the Day

"If anyone out there is named Aesop dear god please open a table store I have just the name for you."

"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? In a BMW, the prick is on the inside."

"I searched your life up on google... ...it gave me an error 404"

"CIVIL WAR SPOILER: A lot of people in the South still don't know they lost."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" And the mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi!"""

"How do you lose fourteen stone of fat? Dump him."

"What's Franklin D Roosavelt's favorite game show? Deal or New Deal"

"So I attempted to set my new password to p3n1s... It told me that my password wasn't long enough."

"[at bar] Gee, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse *nearby horse slams down his whisky* COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY *horse throws the 1st punch*"