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Joke of the Day

"A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds"

"What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes."

"Why should sailors eat crabapples? For the vitamin sea."

"Did you hear about the new virtual reality fellatio program? It's a real mind-blowing experience."

"Dark humour is like food Not everyone gets it"

"[Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle"

"The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like."

"A girl tells her parents she's going to major in psychology ""Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm gonna study a real science! PSYCH!"""

"In Australia your best friend and your worst enemy are both called a.. Cunt"

"Why does Tyler Perry put his name on everything he makes? So you know what shows *not* to watch."