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Joke of the Day

"[Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle"

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows"

"What kind of dogs will patrol the Trump wall? Border Collies! I just came up with this after not sleeping for 30+ hours. Sorry for the cheesy goodness."

"Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere."

"[meeting a girl at the bar] ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I'm brandon GIRL: please let go of my hands"

"I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, ""Should I help?"" Then I thought, ""No...6 should be enough."""

"Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or ...?"

"What do ghosts use to phone home? A terror-phone."

"A book commits suicide every time you watch a reality show."

"Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to"