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Joke of the Day

"Pasta & Postmodernism What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli? Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta."

"If we make guns illegal, then nobody will get shot anymore. That's how we stopped everybody from doing drugs"

"My apartment looks like a Sims house before you figure out the cheat code for unlimited money."

"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian tells him he'll only lose it."

"Whats a beautiful place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"Childhood is like getting drunk.. ... everyone remembers what you did except you."

"What would you call the mailman if he got fired? I don't know, just some dude."

"Im going to make only Paula Deen recipes from now on... So when someone is like,""Oh that was great!!"", ill know they're racist."

"Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he's walking around like a sour puss."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. On my penis."