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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Police hurry over to the Black Lives Matter Riot? To beat the crowd!"
Next Joke
"What's one cracker plus two crackers. [257 Calories](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)"
"What is the difference between a baby and a feminist? The baby grows up and learns to stop crying."
"Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?"
"I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me. I guess he didn't understand the punchline."
"My life these days is basically the ""before"" segment of an infomercial for a revolutionary new mop."
"Does anyone smell that up dog?"
"Today I won the National Laziness Championship! What did you win? Atrophy"
"Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!"
"Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back."