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Joke of the Day
"Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?"
Next Joke
"Two blondes and a stripper walk into a bar. The second blonde should have seen it coming. The stripper usually does."
"Apparently, the answer ""I Know"" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed"
"If I had an email for every Hillary Clinton joke being made right now I'd have none."
"You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!"
"Why do rapists make such great salesmen? They don't take no for an answer."
"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself."
"Since Justin Bieber has the ""Beliebers"" and Lady Gaga has the ""Little Monsters"" I'd like to name Robin Thicke's fans ""Thickeheads."""
"I have two vices; smoking and masturbation. I'm a twenty a day man, and I smoke like a chimney."
"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep... But not the other 3 people in his car."