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Joke of the Day

"Why do Americans drink their tea cold? Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor."

"How do you fit an elephant into a safeway bag? You take the 's' out of safe and the 'f' out of way."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles!"

"I'm going to Bangalore to open a second hand clothing store. And I'm gonna call it ""Who's Sari Now."""

"Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his ass, chocolate sprinkles on his penis and strawberry sauce on his bollocks. Police think he topped himself."

"How is there not an STD Clinic called, ""Clap on Clap off""?"

"*birds dress Cinderella for school* *gets to school, goes into bathroom* *buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*"

"What is Tumblr's least favourite show? NCIS"

"White girl frustrated in the 1700's: ""I shan't even"""

"Episodes 4, 5, and 6 of Star Wars came before episodes 1, 2, and 3... ...because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."