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Joke of the Day

"Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back."

"Did you hear about the comedian who gave an old lady a defective piece of cooking equipment? He's known for his deadpan delivery."

"Wife said since she got bangs she misses her eyebrows. I told her to think of her bangs as one big eyebrow. I shouldn't talk anymore."

"What does Hillary Clinton do when she sees a sniper in Bosnia? Ducks on the ground"

"Why do adrenaline junkies enjoy camping? Because it is in tents"

"Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other."

"What has 32 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."

"My wife asked me if I knew the difference between ignorance and apathy...... I told her I don't know, and I don't care."

"What do you call a cancerous growth on a clown? A *humor*."

"Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this ""Zika"" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?"