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Joke of the Day

"Pirate walks in a bar with his ship's steering wheel stuffed in his pants. The bartender asks do you know that's in your pants? Arrr yes. It's drivin me nuts!"

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"Just seen a fish swim into a wall of concrete Dam"
"It's no coincidence the people who call the cops when parties get loud are the people who never get invited to parties."
"Helen Keller What was Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy."
"I have eight words to say to you...."
"Difference between a 14 year old girl and a Volvo? I don't have a Volvo BOUND AND GAGGED IN MY BASEMENT"
"There is little difference between how a horse eats hay and the way my children consume spaghetti."
"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."
"Politicians are like sperm.. one in a million turn out to be an actual human being."
"My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it."