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Joke of the Day

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts. My favorite joke of all time."

"What do you call a proud Danish countryman? A pastriot."

"What does one star say to another star when they meet? Glad to meteor!"

"Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea? A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face."

"[prison riot] *standing over my origami ducks* ""GO AROUND! GO AROUND!"""

"What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess? ""It's stale, mate."""

"If you are attacked by a group of clowns... Go for the Juggler."

"Detective: how were u able to do it? Serial Killer: thanks to the flexibility of Uber. I was able to work my own hours and still murder"

"GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not"

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."