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Joke of the Day

"[hat shop] OWNER: Sir stop or I'll call the police UNICORN: [surrounded by damaged hats] No one will believe you"

"The amount of duplicates on this subreddit"

"I've been on this new Vodka diet. It's great, I've lost 3 days already!"

"If you thought the last status was good, Check this one out........1"

"When I get real bored I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs... Because they always take things literally."

"Capitalism is horrible Buy my book to find out why!"

"Four gay men walk into a bar, there is only one stool left so what do they do? Flip it over"

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine"

"I watch ""2 Girls, 1 Cup"" for the articles."