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Joke of the Day

"Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word."

"A year on twitter... I remember when all this was fields."

"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say ""hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic""."

"What should you do before cooking the vegetables? Remove the wheelchair"

"Whenever I catch someone talking about me behind my back I tell them you discussed me"

"I'll kiss a close talker just to teach them a lesson."

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

"Hostess: Table for one? Me: More like TABLE FOR FUN, AMIRITE? Hostess: ... Me: ... Hostess: ... Me: Yes, one please."

"I had a cocaine joke, but now I can't find it It makes me really mad because I had it all lined up"

"Why do I always say yes to everything? I just don't no."