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Joke of the Day

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

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"Just heard that they served cider at Margaret Thatcher's wake... ...it was Thatchers Cold"
"Any jokes for friday the 13 & Valentines day? :) Just wondering if anyone had some good oneliners, maybe even dad jokes, about valentines day amd frifay the thirteenth :)"
"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the bum."
"Those kids in Sudan would complain a lot less if they knew I struggled every day with having old people hands."
"Forget everything you learn... 'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.' 'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'"
"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."
"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"
"What do you call a group of black people? Antique farm equipment."
"Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention? Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha"