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Joke of the Day

"""Lift those weights, see if I care."" Said the impersonal trainer."

"*son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink"

"Why was the electoral map feeling down? It wasn't, it was feeling blue."

"Saw a kid crying in the grocery store. I opened a bottle of A1 and chugged it right in front of him. He stopped crying and started nodding."

"You want to hear an old racist joke? Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Told that by an old homeless guy."

"What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset? The variables aren't necessarily related."

"I've had to break up with my imaginary girlfriend. I've started seeing someone else."

"It's such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV."

"Time to get a haircut. Unless somebody knows an easier way to get a dude's dick on your arm."

"Give me your best ""I like my women..."" joke Obligatory; I like my women like I like my jack and cokes: single and inexpensive. Let me hear yours"